Yippity, Yappity, blah blah (YYBB) the term I have coined when people share their perceived failures of someone with everyone but the person they are talking about.

I see value in the YYBB.  I see an opportunity to lean into the gossip about oneself and realize there is something there. Do I wish that these people would come and share their opinions with me? Absolutely! I have so many follow up questions!  How can I get better without feedback?

Our lives of full of sideline people. You know who I am talking about those who spend time on in your peripheral, commenting, and saying things about you to others.  I have been a sideline person, and if I want to be completely honest, I still catch myself wanting to slip into that role.

I have really thought about this from my perspective for a while. For me, being a sideline person and sharing my own YYBB, was because I was envious of their courage to try something that I feared to do.  So yes, I was jealous that they could go out there unapologetically proud of what they are trying to do, and the voice in my head was stopping me from trying. I craved and wished that I too could find the courage to try similar things.  It’s easy to be a sideline person.

As Oprah says, if you know better, you do better!

So that’s what I did. I hear the chatter, I am aware of the criticism, I know the gaps. How may you ask? I know my short comings better than anyone else.

I have spent many seasons in my life of choosing silent and not so silent self-deprecating talk. I have had years of fearing the YYBB chatter about myself and gave it way too much power. It stopped me from trying new things, it stopped me from learning, it stopped me from being happy.

That was before recovery, before rehab, before my 12 step meetings, before me loving me. I found a way to come to terms with YYBB, stop it from being a trigger, and just go out there and explore and learn without fear of criticism of others, but mostly my own self-criticism.

Now I know better. I know that I must be honest with me. I know that I have the power to decide what role this YYBB will play in my decision making. What role others’ opinions of me will have on taking risks and following my own dreams. And the answer is NONE.

So, if you find yourself YYBB’ing about some to someone else. Stop, and ask yourself why I am wasting my time talking about someone else, when I can spend that time working on me.

If you are afraid of the YYBB of others about you.  Ask yourself what value someone else’s opinion that is not shared with you holds in your life? Do their opinions really matter in your life? Take that time you spend fearing what others may say behind your back and surround yourself with people that have the poise to share their opinion with you. Be okay with feedback from others.  Those people that have confidence in being honest with you.

To those that are Yippity, Yappiting, blah blahing about me and anyone else, please don’t send us a bill for the space we have taken up in your head. You moved us in.